I’m a fuck up.. My whole life.. My childhood was okay but it wasn’t great I went through hell since I was in my 5th year of primary… It feels like it’s never going to stop.. Like I can talk on here because no one knows me.. I guess that’s okay.. I have no where else or anyone else to express my true feelings too I put on an act everyday as if I was having the best life anyone could have.. This is the only lie I tell each day. And I hate liars lying.. But I have to because no one believes or understands what I’ve been through or still am… No one gets me or understands or knows who I am.. I have basically gone back three years.. When I was at my worst.. I’m now at my worst again.. I have had to move out, I have recently had to walk out my job cos they’re cunts n I physically and emotionally couldn’t stand it any longer so I have no job. I have no money, my partner has left me for no reason and still In touch but she’s fucking with me so bad it’s killing me so much, I’m a mug. She is my bestfriend and I need her but I can’t do this? Like I’m so fucking broken… All I needed was her. I thought she knew n got me and was never going to leave me. I never left her after everything she put me through n regardless if n what she did,and never would have either, I still love care and wanted her to this very day. I need to find my real father also this is so hard and also even worse it’s hard so fucking hard I’m so fucked up and broken… My mum is ill… She has cancer… I’m literally deteriorating inside. And I’m so alone I feel so low, so bad I don’t know what to do? I’m so hopeless and I have everything on top if it to sort out so many things and I have no one for support or help :’( I’m basically alone and have no one. I just don’t want to be here… I can eat properly I feel ill and I just keep drinking.. I’m not me I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing and I need help I really do:’( I’m crying myself to sleep every night n I can’t even sleep properly I’m having bad dreams too, I can’t take it much longer, I can’t:’(
Yano when no one ever listens to you you’re trying to scream out but no ones there even when they are you’re a liar but all you’re doing is telling the truth trying to make people see.. And then one day when they do it’s too late.
You know when you’re trying to scream out and no ones listening no one cares like you’re invisible and then one day they’ll realise but it’s going to be too late I don’t know how much more I can take it’s so frustrating when you’re right but no one sees it. I can’t :’(